Let’s be honest: no amount of baby books, prenatal classes, or well-meaning advice from friends can fully prepare you for the reality of giving birth. Sure, you might know the basics—contractions hurt, pushing is hard, and yes, there will be poop involved. But there’s so much more that no one talks about. The stuff that makes you think, Why didn’t anyone warn me about this?!
If you’re pregnant or planning to be, buckle up. Here are 15 things I wish I had known before giving birth—raw, real, and unfiltered.
1. Labor Doesn’t Always Start with a Bang
Movies and TV shows love to dramatize labor with a sudden gush of water and a frantic rush to the hospital. In reality, labor often starts slowly. You might feel mild cramps, back pain, or even just a general sense of “something’s off.” For some, it’s more of a marathon than a sprint.
2. Contractions Feel Like Nothing You’ve Ever Experienced
Yes, everyone says contractions hurt, but it’s hard to truly grasp until you’re in the thick of it. Imagine the worst period cramps of your life, multiplied by 100, with a side of intense pressure. And just when you think you can’t take it anymore, they get stronger.
3. You Might Poop During Delivery
Let’s get this one out of the way: yes, it happens. A lot. And guess what? No one in the delivery room cares. Seriously, they’ve seen it all before. So, if it happens, don’t stress—it’s just a sign you’re pushing effectively.
4. Epidurals Are a Game-Changer (But Not Always Perfect)
Epidurals can make labor much more manageable, but they’re not a one-size-fits-all solution. Sometimes they don’t work evenly, leaving you with a “window” of pain. Other times, they might slow down labor. Still, for many, they’re worth it.
5. You Might Shake Uncontrollably
No one warned me about the shakes. During and after labor, your body might tremble like you’re freezing, even if you’re not. It’s a normal hormonal response, but it can be unsettling if you’re not expecting it.
6. Pushing Isn’t Always the Hardest Part
Contrary to what you might think, pushing isn’t always the most exhausting part of labor. For some, the hardest part is getting through hours of contractions before you’re even fully dilated.
7. You Might Not Feel an Instant Bond with Your Baby
Movies love to show moms weeping with joy the second their baby is placed in their arms. But for many, that instant bond takes time—and that’s okay. You’ve just been through a massive physical and emotional ordeal. Give yourself grace.
8. The First Postpartum Poop Is Terrifying
Let’s just say, after giving birth, your first trip to the bathroom can feel like a monumental task. Stock up on stool softeners, drink plenty of water, and don’t rush it.
9. You’ll Bleed—A Lot
Postpartum bleeding, or lochia, can last for weeks. It’s like a heavy period on steroids, and no one really prepares you for how intense it can be. Stock up on heavy-duty pads and comfy underwear.
10. Breastfeeding Isn’t Always Natural or Easy
Breastfeeding is often portrayed as this beautiful, effortless bonding experience. But for many, it’s anything but. Sore nipples, latching issues, and low supply are common struggles. If it’s hard for you, know that you’re not alone, and there’s no shame in seeking help or supplementing with formula.
11. Your Body Will Feel Unrecognizable
After giving birth, your body might feel like a stranger’s. Your stomach is soft and squishy, your hips are wider, and everything feels… different. It takes time to heal, and that’s okay. Your body just did something incredible.
12. The Hormonal Crash Is Real
The days after birth can feel like an emotional rollercoaster. One minute you’re crying over a diaper commercial, the next you’re laughing hysterically at something that’s not even funny. It’s normal, but if the sadness persists, don’t hesitate to seek help.
13. Sleep Becomes a Distant Memory
Newborns don’t care about your need for sleep. They wake up every 2-3 hours to eat, and it can feel relentless. Try to sleep when the baby sleeps, and don’t be afraid to ask for help so you can catch a break.
14. You’ll Question Everything
Am I doing this right? Is the baby eating enough? Why won’t they stop crying? The self-doubt is real, but trust me, you’re doing better than you think.
15. It’s Okay to Not Love Every Moment
Motherhood is often portrayed as this magical, blissful experience. But let’s be real: it’s hard. It’s messy. And it’s okay to not love every single moment. You’re allowed to feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and even a little regretful at times. That doesn’t make you a bad mom—it makes you human.Final Thoughts
Giving birth is one of the most transformative experiences you’ll ever go through, but it’s not always the picture-perfect moment you see in movies. It’s raw, messy, and unpredictable. And while no amount of advice can fully prepare you, knowing what to expect can make the journey a little less daunting.
So, to all the moms-to-be out there: you’ve got this. And to the new moms who are in the thick of it: you’re doing an amazing job. Remember, it’s okay to not have all the answers, and it’s okay to ask for help.
Because at the end of the day, you’re not just giving birth—you’re becoming a mother. And that’s something truly extraordinary.
