Who says jokes for kids are only for kids? You’re guaranteed to laugh until you cry at the selection of children’s jokes presented here.
Adults don’t always remember that they loved jokes as children.
Or is it different for you and you still have the old Fritzchen jokes from your childhood up your sleeve?
In any case, kindergarten or at the latest school is the time when your child comes home with jokes in tow.
They’ll definitely be delighted if you tell them a few jokes yourself. The next day, they’ll share them with their classmates.
So that you can quench your child’s thirst for laughter, you will find in this article a selection of great jokes, all of which are youth-friendly and will ensure the best moments in everyday family life
Jokes for children – simply hilarious
Did you know that you can learn to have a sense of humor? Zurich-based humor researcher Willibald Ruch discovered this. You can also learn to tell jokes.
So if you’ve always thought that you can or can’t do it, then you should throw that opinion aside and practice the art of telling jokes with your child.
For a joke to come across well, you should first and foremost believe in it and find it funny.
But to avoid being the only person laughing at your joke, you should definitely not go on too long when telling it.
Short jokes are better to start with than longer ones, because otherwise you have to limit yourself to the essentials and tell them quickly but clearly until you get to the punchline.
In general, shorter jokes are more popular with children.
Here is a selection of jokes that can be told in a few breaths and have a funny twist.
1.
Little Lisa fell while playing. Her grandmother asked excitedly, “Lisa—is your nose still intact?” Lisa replied, “Yes, Grandma, don’t worry. The two holes were already there before!”
2.
Two toothpicks are walking up a hill. A hedgehog comes by. One toothpick says to the other: “If I had known a bus was coming, we could have taken that bus.”
3.
“Dad, can I have a euro for an old man, please?”
“Okay, Jessi, I’m glad you care so much about older people. I’ll give you the money. Where is the man?”
“Over there by the supermarket, selling ice cream.”
4.
Jonathan smashes a large vase in his grandmother’s apartment. Grandma exclaims in shock: “The vase was from the 17th century!” Tayo then says with relief: “Oh, luckily, I thought it was new.”
5.
A cat and a mouse walk into a bakery.
The mouse says, “I’d like a piece of plum cake with cream.”
“How about you?” the saleswoman asks the cat.
“I’d just like a dollop of cream on the mouse.”
6.
After cutting his hair, the hairdresser shows Jonas the result in the mirror. “Do you like it like this?” the hairdresser asks. Jonas replies, “It can be a little longer in the back.”
7.
Caro discovers an old playpen in the attic. She runs excitedly to her dad. “Dad, we’re having a new baby,” she calls out. “But Caro, how did you come up with that?” “Dad, the trap’s already set on the roof!”
8.
Mom puts Caro to bed. After a while, Dad carefully opens the door and quietly asks, “And has she fallen asleep yet?” Caro replies, “Yes, and she’s snoring!”
9.
Dad puts the twins Paul and Leo to bed. Paul giggles the whole time.
Dad asks, “Why are you laughing so much all the time?”
“Oh, Dad, you brushed Leo’s teeth twice and not mine at all.”
10.
A man walks into a bookstore and says, “I’d like a particularly exciting crime novel.” The salesperson says, “I have a great recommendation for you. With this book, you won’t find out it was the gardener until the last page.”
11.
Felix visits his grandmother and says, “Grandma, your drum was my most wonderful birthday present!” “Really? I’m so happy!” retorts his grandmother. Felix replies, “Yes! Mom gives me two euros every time I don’t play it.”
12.
Maxi meets his friend Noah on the street. “Hello Noah, what’s your new dog’s name?” Noah replies: “I don’t know, he won’t tell me.”
13.
A man walks into a store in a mall. He stands at the counter and says, “Hello, I need a new pair of glasses, please.” The woman behind the counter replies, “Yes, that’s right. You’re at the bakery.”
14.
Two mothers are talking. One says, “You know, my little Oskar is already sitting. And he’s only 6 months old!” The other replies, “Oh no, today’s youth! What has he done?”
15.
Two men are talking. One says, “I think everyone should sleep with the window open!” The other asks, “Why? Are you a doctor?” The other replies, “No, you’re a burglar!”
16.
Two pickpockets meet. One asks, “How are you?” The other says, “It depends!”
17.
Two lawyers meet. One says to the other, “Hello, how are you?” The other replies, “Not good. I can’t sue.”
18.
Little Ina goes to her father: “Daddy, I have two questions for you. The first question: Can I have more pocket money, please? And the second: Why not?”
19.
The class is discussing careers. Little Marie says, “My dad likes violins much better than pianos.” The teacher asks, “So your father is a musician?” “No,” says little Marie. “He’s a furniture mover.”
20.
In a restaurant, the guest says to the waiter: “Waiter, I would like to pay, please!” The waiter then says: “No problem – three, five, nine, fourteen, twenty…”
21.
The family is sitting at the lunch table when little Luisa says, “I want the pasta!” Her mother replies, “What’s the magic word with two ‘t’s?” Luisa replies, “Quick!”
22.
One father says to another, “Our son will be baptized Friday!” The other replies, “Friday? That’s an unusual name…”
23.
Lisa is stroking Grandma Erna’s cat. The cat starts purring. Startled, Lisa asks, “Grandma, where do I turn off the engine?”
24.
Emma says to Jan: “Do you know that girls are smarter than boys?”
“No, I didn’t know that,” says Jan. Then Emma says: “See!!”
25.
Cleo is riding her bike and falls over.
A woman sees this and asks, “Did you fall?”
Cleo angrily replies, “No, I always get off like this!”
26.
Sign in the subway station: “Dogs must be carried on the escalator!” The woman says: “So where can I get a dog in a hurry?”
27.
A grandfather shows the bus driver his ticket. “But that’s a child’s ticket!” the bus driver remarks. The grandfather says, “You can see how long I’ve been waiting for this bus!”
28.
Grandpa tells stories from the past. “When I was in the forest, I was attacked by 12 wolves.” Fritzi replies, “But Grandpa, last year there were only three!”
“Yes, you were too young back then to know the whole truth!”
29.
Lisa and Jonas are playing a puzzle. Jonas explains: “Now I’m going to throw the coin up. If it’s tails, I win; if it’s heads, you lose!”
30.
Martin meets his friend Lars on the street. He says, “Hello Lars, nice to see you! How’s your new bike?” Lars replies, “A bike doesn’t walk. A bike rides.” Martin says, “And how’s your bike ride?” Lars replies, “It rides.”
Jokes for children – animal jokes
Animals accompany us from an early age in picture books, stories, songs and fables.
Children especially love animals and are very interested in the unique characteristics of different species.
Animals are often attributed human characteristics, so often that we adults don’t even consciously notice it.
Even with jokes, it sometimes goes unnoticed by most people whether Fritzchen or Häschen was the protagonist.
But our world of jokes would be much poorer without the funny animal inhabitants.
1.
Bunny comes to the baker. It asks, “Do you have 500 rolls?” The baker is surprised and says no. The next morning, Bunny comes back. “Do you have 500 rolls?” The baker says no. On the third morning, the bunny comes back to the bakery and asks, “Do you have 500 rolls?” The baker is happy and says, “Yes, I do!” The bunny says, “Can I have two, please?”
Or alternatively:
Bunny goes to the baker and asks: “Do you have a vegetable cake?” “No, I don’t,” she replies. The next day, Bunny returns. “Do you have a vegetable cake?” “No, still not,” replies the baker. On the third day, Bunny asks again: “Do you have a vegetable cake?” The baker has baked one and shouts, “Yes!” The bunny says, “Yuck, who eats that?”
2.
Two polar bears are walking through the Sahara. “It must be as smooth as glass here,” says one.
The other asks in surprise, “Why?”
The first says, “Why do you think the sand is so well-littered here?”
3.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “Why are you making such a long face?”
4.
A frog walks into the supermarket. The salesperson asks, “Hello, what would you like to buy?” The frog says, “Quack.”
5.
An elephant and a mouse go to the swimming pool together. Suddenly, the elephant says in alarm, “Oh no, I forgot my swimming trunks at home!” The mouse replies, “That’s no problem! I brought two.”
6.
A man is walking through the desert and meets a turtle. The turtle shakes its head and says, “No, no…” Two days later, the man meets the turtle again, and the turtle says again, “No, no…” The man then asks the turtle what’s wrong. The turtle replies, “No, no, so much sand and no digging stuff!”
7.
Two snails are standing at an intersection. One wants to cross the street, but the other says, “Careful! The bus will be here in two hours.”
8.
What do sheep do when they’re quarreling with each other? They get into a fight.
9.
Two fish meet. One says, “Hawk!” The other, quite alarmed, says, “Where? Where? Where?”
10.
What does a snail on a turtle’s back say? “Hey – not so fast!”
11.
Two mice are sitting on the roof, observing the starry sky. Suddenly, a bat flies past them. One of the mice exclaims excitedly, “Unbelievable—an angel!”
12.
A turtle is attacked by a group of snails. The police question the turtle. “Can you tell us what happened?”
“No,” says the turtle, “it all happened so fast.”
13.
Two female elephants watch a passing zebra.
“The fashion designers are right,” says one.
“Why is that?” asks the other.
“You can see that, stripes make you look slimmer.”
14.
“Be careful,” the trout says to its child when it spots a big worm.
“If a lump like that falls in front of your nose, there’s definitely a hook on it!”
15.
Two snakes meet in the desert. One asks the other, “Are we poisonous?”
The other says, “I don’t know why?”
The first replies, “I just bit my tongue!”
Jokes for children – student jokes
Children often don’t have it easy at school with all the demands and expectations placed on them.
When the cheerful seriousness of life becomes too serious, funny jokes help to lift the mood.
Many funny children’s jokes about school are based on puns.
Students like Fritzchen or Caro usually understand their teachers literally and provide answers and comments that are astonishing and even correct when viewed from a different perspective.
Nothing is spared – people laugh at the expense of the school, the students and also the teachers.
And that’s a good thing. After all, you should never take yourself too seriously.
Here are some examples for the class joke book.
1.
Little Fritz asks his teacher: “Teacher, can you be punished for something you didn’t do?” The teacher says: “No, of course not. That would be unfair.” Little Fritz says: “Great, I didn’t do my homework!”
2.
Jonathan is sitting in school. The teacher asks him, “Why is a polar bear white?” Jonathan replies, “If it were red, it would have to be called a raspberry.”
3.
At school, the teacher asks, “What is more fluid than water?” Lisa raises her hand and says, “Homework—it’s unnecessary!”
4.
Oskar is sitting in biology class. The teacher asks, “Which is the smartest animal?” Oskar raises his hand and says, “Of course it’s the cuckoo. After all, it can say its own name!”
5.
After school, Lisa comes home very happy. Her mother asks, “Lisa, why are you so happy?” Lisa replies, “Well, because our teacher is away, so there’s no school tomorrow.” Her mother is shocked and says, “What? That can’t be true!” Lisa replies, “Yes, it is. He said, ‘That’s it for today. I’m leaving tomorrow.'”
6.
The teacher asks the class, “How many continents are there and what are they called?” A student then raises his hand and answers, “There are many continents and my name is Luke.”
7.
A new student enters the class. The teacher asks him: “So, what’s your name?” – “My name is Felix.” – “And how old are you?” – “His name is Peter.”
8.
The teacher asks the class: “Imagine you have four buttons in your pocket and two fall out. What do you have in your pocket then?” A student raises her hand and answers: “A hole!”
9.
The desperate math teacher says in class: “This class is so bad at math. I’m sure 80% will fail the test.” A student says: “But, teacher, there aren’t that many of us!”
10.
The German teacher asks the class: “Who of you can name a famous poet from antiquity?” Karla raises her hand and answers: “Achilles!” The teacher then says: “But Karla, Achilles wasn’t a poet!” Karla replies in surprise: “But why? He became famous because of his heel.”
11.
The first day of school is over, and little Caro comes home. Her mother asks, “Hey, Caro, have you learned much today?” She replies, “Yes, but apparently not enough. Because I have to go back tomorrow!”
12.
In music class, the teacher asks: “Name any string instrument.” Peter answers: “Brush!”
13.
The math teacher asks little Fritz: “If you have 3 euros and you ask your sister for another 2 euros, how many euros do you have?” Little Fritz says: “3 euros!” The math teacher is horrified and says: “But Fritz, can’t you do math at all?” Fritz replies: “Yes, Teacher. But you don’t know my sister!”
14.
The biology teacher asks the class: “Who of you knows why migratory birds fly south in the fall and winter?” Lisa replies: “Of course! Because it would be much too far to walk!”
15.
Teacher: “Which muscles are used when I box?”
Fritz: “My laughing muscles!”
16.
Teacher: “What did the Hebrews do after they crossed the Red Sea?”
Student: “They dried themselves.”
17.
Dad: “Fritz, your teacher is very worried about your grades…”
Fritz: “Oh, Dad, what do we care about other people’s worries?”
18.
Teacher: “Who can name five animals that only live in Australia?”
Student: “A koala and four kangaroos!”
19.
Teacher: “Words that begin with ‘un-‘ often mean something bad. Like discord and unpleasant. Who has another example?”
Student: “Class!”
20.
Teacher: “Do you know how long fish live?”
Student: “Probably as long as short ones.”
21.
Teacher: “Tell your grandpa to come to my school tomorrow.”
Student: “Grandpa should come, not my dad?”
Teacher: “Exactly. I want to show your grandpa how many mistakes his son made on his homework.”
22.
At the playground, Fritz meets his friend from class. His little brother is there too, and he can’t stop crying. His friend asks Fritz, “Why is your brother crying so much?”
Fritz replies, “Because we’re on vacation, but he’s not.” His friend wonders, “Why not?” Fritz replies, “Well, he’s not going to school yet; he’s still a preschooler.”
23.
The German teacher asks the class: “When I say: ‘I am sick,’ what kind of time is that?”
The answer comes murmured from a corner: “A very nice time.”
24.
Teacher: “Please name three famous men beginning with the letter B.”
Fritz: “Beckenbauer, Breitner, Basler.”
Teacher: “Have you never heard of Beethoven, Bach, or Brahms?”
Fritz: “No, I don’t watch regional league football.”
25.
Teacher: “Who can name the three ice saints?”
Answer: “Langnese, Dr. Oetker, and Schöller!”
26.
Teacher: “Women’s names are often formed from male first names: Joseph and Josephine, Emil and Emilie. Anton and…?”
A student throws out the answer: “Antenna!”
27.
Fritz is late for school. He runs up the stairs and runs into the principal.
The principal says, “Ten minutes late!”
Fritz replies, “Me too!”
28.
Caro: “I don’t want to go to school. Whenever my teacher doesn’t know what to do, she asks me.”
29.
Student: “I’m innocent.”
Principal: “Everyone says so.”
Student: “Then it must be true.”
30.
Teacher: “Wake up, Jonathan, the classroom is not the right place for napping!”
Jonathan: “It’s okay. You just need to speak a little more quietly, please.”
31.
Dad: “Wrong numbers in the lottery again!”
Daughter: “Don’t take it so hard, Dad, I had the same problem yesterday in my math test.”
32.
Teacher: “Fritz, did your sister really emigrate to Australia?”
Fritz: “No, she ended up in the USA.”
Teacher: “No wonder, geography was never her strong suit!”
33.
German teacher: “Fritz, please tell me the tenses of the verb ‘essen’.
Fritz: “I eat, I ate, I have eaten, I am full.”
34.
Teacher to Fritz: “If I give you five presents and take three away, what is that?”
Fritz: “Mean!”
35.
The teacher shows a picture and asks, “Is this a sunrise or a sunset?”
A student replies, “It’s definitely a sunset. After all, no artist gets up that early.”
36.
The teacher holds up two eggs, one white, the other brown, and asks: “What’s the difference?”
The answer comes from a corner: “The brown one was on vacation.”
37.
The teacher says to the classroom: “When Alexander the Great was your age, he had already conquered half the world.”
Little Fritz chimes in: “No wonder, he had Aristotle as his teacher!”
38.
The English teacher asks Fritzchen, “How do you say bell in English?”
Fritzchen remains silent. The teacher then says, “Bell, Fritzchen.”
Fritzchen says, “Woof, woof!”
39.
There’s a sign in front of the school that reads: “Restricted Traffic Zone. Please do not run over children!”
Below it is scrawled: “Wait for the teachers.”
Jokes for children – trick questions
Short jokes are particularly suitable for small children.
However, since joke questions often involve wordplay and require a strong language skill to understand them, joke questions are more suitable for school children .
On the other hand, joke questions can also promote the linguistic and logical development of little ones because they require a creative engagement with language and encourage them to think outside the box.
Here you will find a selection of such joke questions that will also make the little ones in kindergarten laugh.
1. What is black, white, and red? A sunburned zebra.
2. What is seven times seven? Very fine sand.
3. What do cars like to eat most? Parking spaces.
4. Why do police officers need scissors? So they can cut off burglars.
5. What does the woodworm dad say to his children in the evening? “Hush, hush, into the board!”
6. What do you call a cookie that’s under a tree? A shady spot.
7. Why do bees buzz? Because they don’t know the text.
8. What’s small, red, shiny, and constantly goes up and down? A cherry in an elevator.
9. Why do flamingos stand on one leg? Because otherwise they would fall.
10. What’s happy and stinks? The Fart Day child!
11. Which doctor does Pinocchio see? The wooden nose and throat doctor.
12. What do you call a bear that constantly screams and sits on a ball? Ball screaming BEAR!
13. What’s green, happy, and hops across the grass? A grasshopper!
14. What does the big pencil say to the little pencil? Wax pencil!
15. What do you call a sailor who doesn’t wash? Guinea pig.
16. Why did the balloon burst? Because of space constraints.
17. What do people speak in the sauna? Swiss German!
18. Why do raisins wear headlamps? Because they go into the mine.
19. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? Stick!
20. What tool do ghosts use during school exams? A ghost note.
Final thoughts
In 2017, Augsburg psychologists conducted an experiment at a high school in Ellwangen that showed that teachers who told jokes in class were more popular with their students and ensured more enjoyment and less boredom.
However, the jokes must be relevant to the subject matter in order to achieve the positive effect of increased attention.
This is actually not a surprising finding, because when a teacher makes jokes about the subject matter she is learning, she is showing that it is okay not to take it, and indirectly herself, too seriously.
Laughter and humor can reduce stress in stressful situations, mitigate criticism, counteract inhibitions and create closeness and connection between people.
No wonder children love jokes and can’t get enough of them.
100 jokes for children – In this article I have made a selection that ranges from school jokes to animal jokes to trick questions.
Maybe there will be a little joke slam at the next scavenger hunt or children’s birthday party ?
If your child would like to tell jokes but is afraid to do so in front of their classmates, encourage them to practice.
After all, humor is something that can and should be learned. You can practice that with our April Fools’ Day sayings .
I hope you enjoy sharing this story!
