Are your kids getting on your last nerve? Constantly. Managing your stress can bring you back to the rewarding part of parenting.
If you feel like your little ones are requiring a Mount Everest level of patience lately, you’re not alone.
Throw in 2 years of adjusting to the way the pandemic has disrupted everyone’s routine, and it’s no wonder why some parents are reportedly more stressed today.
Healthy stress management can help you and your loved ones find more peace throughout the day.
What causes parental stress?
Stress is a poor boundary guard. Work stress isn’t confined to the office. Financial worries don’t magically disappear when your child is sick and sleepless.
The parenting journey is, of course, fraught with times of heightened stress and worry—from the sleepless newborn phase to the rebellious teenage years and beyond.
A list of things that don’t cause parenting stress could be shorter. Nevertheless, these are common factors that can worsen parenting stress:
- childhood developmental disorder
- childish discipline
- Fear at work
- financial depression
- Work-Life-Balance
- Family planning
- mental stress
- Parental burnout
- Conflicts with other caregivers (ex-spouse, day care, teachers)
- Care for older people
- Lack of social support
What is the difference between parental stress and distress?
You will likely worry about your child’s development, behavior, and safety throughout your life.
In addition, there can be a (seemingly) endless carousel of magical promotional items.
But when your daily life becomes overwhelming, your feelings can turn into chronic anxiety or debilitating depression that makes you question your abilities as a parent.
In this case, you may be desperate.
Discussing your mental health with a therapist or doctor is the best way to show up for your child.
If you feel sadness that doesn’t seem to go away, you may want to look out for these depression symptoms:
- hopelessness
- Loss of interest in hobbies
- mental fog
- irritability
- insomnia
- suicidal thoughts
Parental Stress Index, what it means
The Parental Stress Index is a 120-question screening test designed to measure stress in the parent-child relationship.
A short version of the Parent Index can be completed in about 10 minutes.
The test can be used to assess families and identify children at risk for dysfunctional relationships.
If you want to self-assess your stress level, try the Parental Stress Scale (PSS). It’s a widely used (and free!) tool for measuring parenting-related stress. The PSS tool can be a helpful first step in determining if your stress is too high.
How do you deal with parental stress?
A healthier approach to stress can help stressed parents engage in both the very joyful and the meaningful, quiet moments that come with raising children.
As the experts say, your diet, exercise and sleep are so important to keep your stress low.
You can build on these healthy habits with these parent-friendly ways to restore your Zen :
Development of a behavior management plan
Don’t let your child’s emotional whims guide you the next time they cross a boundary.
Sticking to a discipline action plan will help you and your child know exactly what to expect , and it will keep your mind from spiraling into a stressful place of panic or anger.
Parents of children with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) and other mental health conditions can feel lost when it comes to setting rules and boundaries for their child.
But it is possible to find a disciplinary framework that helps you set an example of calm while respecting your child’s needs.
Enjoy the moment
Children may be fascinated by watching a caterpillar crawl across a leaf or squish Play-Doh in their hands, or older children may discover the cathartic power of good music.
All of these are examples of what researchers call enjoyment—really exploring the details of an experience with a curious mindset.
As parents, it has been shown that enjoying these little moments together with your children increases positive feelings and joy.
Embracing this sense of wonder is also a parent-friendly portal to mindfulness, which, according to this 2019 study, can reduce parenting stress.
Turn up the volume
According to a 2021 study, listening to music can lower your cortisol (stress hormone) levels.
So you can move your body while your baby giggles, ask your toddler to join you in doing the spin, or embarrass your teenager with your “classic” moves from your time.
Moving your body and listening to music can benefit you both mentally and physically.
Have open conversations about mental health
If you’re a parent feeling limited by a mental illness or raising a child who has been diagnosed with a mental illness, an open conversation could be just the thing to ease tensions.
Talking openly about mental illness can help prevent your child from internalizing some of your behavior.
This conversation could also help your child feel validated if they are living with a mental illness.
A continuous, non-judgmental conversation works wonders to release pent-up stress and promote a sense of calm.
Meditation and mindfulness
For many parents, finding 20 quiet, uninterrupted minutes to meditate on a routine basis is downright ridiculous.
Instead, you can try 1-minute meditations.
Or you can simply focus on your breath and concentrate on textures, sounds, or images around you that you find beautiful.
Noticing even the smallest opportunities to be mindful can support your mindful parenting.
A growing body of research suggests that mindful parenting can influence the development of children’s decision-making in social situations.
Summary
Stress is natural, and parenting stress is inevitable. However, when stressful emotions and tensions are channeled into healthy coping strategies, you create more space for restorative family dynamics and positive behavioral outcomes for your children.
